Today Robert took the kids snowboarding again!

I can't believe there is still snow up there and it is May! He promised to take pictures this time! I decided that at the beginning of the season next year I will drag myself up there on my old skis and watch this fun sport mu children have all mastered without me. I don't want to miss seeing them in person, as much as I hate being clod and I am scared of hurting my back it will be a good thing for me to be a part of their mountain experience. I want to go once at the beginning of the season and once at the end to compare how much they get better...wish me luck! ( Side note ... I bet Robert would buy me all new ski equipment without even batting an eyelash...he would even be excited picking the stuff out ...but no carpet...it is a mystery! Stacy says "that is why we are all glad that he found you to marry him!") He told me last night, with tears in his eyes(yes tears in Robert's eyes, a rare event) that he sees he only has a few more years to really enjoy our kids when they are with us at home so he really wants to soak up every minute he can...now who is the better parent?( not that it is a contest or that I thought I was a better parent... just jesting here) That was humbling...I am just trying to make it through each day here while he is enjoying every minute...I really have to stop and readjust my thinking and priorities here. For as crazy as he makes me feel and as "outside the box" as he is he has a good point and perfect focus on what is most important right now...I wish I were more like Robert sometimes...UGGGH Did I just say that? The man, my husband , is special and as much as I am different ( we all are different) from him and his way of thinking I think he is really sincerely on to something and his heart lies in the best place concerning our kids, bonus for my family that he likes to do all these fun things and that his body can take it! He says that after having cancer he actually gets tired and has to recover after snowboarding all day and then coming home and playing basketball for 2 hours...He is almost down to my level of energy...Kidding...I would die, literally DIE if I had to ( listen to me HAD TO ???He actually chooses this coarse???) ski all day , drive for 2 hours and then play hard B-ball for 2 hours...DEAD I tell you!DEAD! To top that off he would easily get up the next day and ride his bike for 40 miles, no problem....UGGGH ! Can anyone see why I feel like a toad? I walk 5 miles up huge hills everyday and I want to go home and go back to sleep...have to force myself to move the rest of the day, how did I find this guy? Even more puzzling... why is he married to me...the toadslugslothmiester? I am going to go back and read this on days when I am asking myself " WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?"

Just some "food" for thought..." What do we want out of life?" "Who do we want to be?" " What kind of experiences do we seek from our lives here?" " How much do we REALLY enjoy our children?"( I have many moments when I sit back and just smile 'cause I think about how awesome they are and how much I love them, and then 5 minutes later I am barking at them...not always but that it what it feels like anyway) "as far as this life...what will we take with us?" (Our love, our memories or experiences, our faith, our relationships...) "How can we maximize this Earth experience?"

I think I am a great mom, my kids really love me and I really love them! I have a great relationship with each of them, they talk to me(maybe too much sometimes) they ask me important questions(and silly ones that irritate me) they feel safe with me:) I can definitely improve(as we can ) and here it is 5 years until Leavi will be out in the real world going to college(if she so chooses) I think re-focusing now is something to think about! I could give more and take less. I could let more of what I think is important ride for a while ( like keeping everything just so around this house) and live in the moment! ENJOY the moment! I don't Enjoy enough. After all God did tell us " Adam fell that men might be, men are that they might have JOY!" I totally love that scripture, it makes me think. I quote it to Quincy a lot...kind of my own mantra...This life is not about feeling bad or guilty or inadequate! It is about finding our Savior, following Him and having JOY therein...pretty simple and cut and dry if you ask me. Then why is it difficult...shouldn't be! Robert seems to get this, pretty well if you ask me! He said to me " I get irritated(I was convinced he doesn't ever get irritated??) I just choose not to let it show ans make me unhappy." This a whole weird concept to me...don't show that you are irritated? WHAT? Now how do I do that? I know how...just being a baby about it. I find it hard to pray for patience but I think I could handle praying to have help with being irritated! BINGO ! PRAYER...isn't that what everything comes down to? PRAYER and FAITH:)